When a spouse requests a divorce, the first step is to remain calm and gather information, that declaration will set in motion a variety of emotional, practical, and financial changes for both parties. You need to respond thoughtfully on each level to protect yourself and your children, and to maintain the degree of relationship you choose with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. Consider talking to a lawyer to understand your rights and options, and explore options for counselling or therapy to help process the situation emotionally. Here are: What to Do When Your Spouse Asks for Divorce in Texas
1. Find out why your Spouse wants a Divorce
Give your spouse a chance to articulate why they want a divorce. Don’t argue, but listen and try to understand what they think and feel. This conversation could include a discussion of possible reconciliation, and also allow you to gauge their interest in pursuing non-adversarial divorce options like mediation or collaboration.
If you want to save the marriage, you may have to make lifestyle changes that resonate with her. Your spouse may agree to give the marriage another chance. Talking to a family therapist or couples counsellor may help to either heal the marriage or reduce the conflict within the divorce. But if they are insisting, you have to accept the fact that divorce is inevitable, structure and moved on your life accordingly.
2. Put your Emotions Together
Knowing your spouse wants a divorce can be extremely hurtful and sometimes can lead to shock and make you disorganized in everything, even if both of you are committed to reducing conflict. If your spouse is asking for a divorce leaves you in a state of intense emotion or shock, take the time immediately to treat yourself well through self-care. Create time alone to process the emotional and financial implications of what you’ve heard.
As you work to process the pending divorce, expect to feel grief, anger, guilt, and even fear about the uncertain future. These emotional responses are normal and will continue to arise throughout and even after the divorce process is complete. When these feelings arise, take a step away, breathe, and give yourself space before returning to your deliberations. We often recommend seeing a therapist during these difficult times so that you have a confidential space to work through your emotions rather than funnel them back into your divorce.
Tell yourself that it is okay not to have everything figured out immediately. The advice of a family lawyer can be invaluable in resolving issues that may seem overwhelming.
3. Let Your Children Know of Your Spouse’s Decision
Telling your children after your spouse asks for divorce is a delicate thing. Depending on their ages and relationships with both parents, you may find that they are confused, scared, angry with you, or even blame you for the divorce. It is in their best interest to tell your children as soon as possible, so that they have time to process their own emotions about divorce and you and your spouse have the ability to answer any questions they may have.
It is a good idea for both parents to tell the children about the divorce together, without assessing blame to anyone. It is preferable to tell the children about the divorce until you have made a plan for physical separation, where they will live, and the access schedule they will follow in their new homes. Don’t put them in a position where they will need to choose which parent they should support. Let them be the neutral.
4. Be Financially in Order
Make sure you have a clear understanding of your financial picture. What accounts and investments do you have together and separately? How can the joint ones be split? Assuming that one spouse leaves the family residence, how much will it cost for them to rent or buy another place? What is your monthly budget? Many financial issues must be considered with a divorce.
Except in cases with a prenuptial agreement signed before the marriage or a postnuptial agreement signed afterwards, divorce is likely to involve a financial separation. When you physically separate from your spouse (especially if you are the one moving out), it can also separate you from important financial information. After your spouse asks for divorce, you need to make sure you have physical or digital copies of statements for each of your bank, credit, and retirement accounts, as well as any tax returns that were filed during the marriage. Otherwise, it may be expensive to get them later. It is important to speak with an attorney about the timing of financial changes to avoid claims that you are hiding assets.
5. Educate Yourself About the Texas Divorce Process
You need to understand how the Texas divorce process works and how long it takes to prepare, file, and complete the divorce. The timeline for the process can vary depending on the level of conflict and circumstances in your case. Your divorce attorney should explain the process options to you and help you develop your priorities and goals based upon the timeline and costs with a goal to help you prepare emotionally and financially.
6. Consult a Texas Divorce Family Lawyer
Do not wait for your spouse to file divorce paperwork to talk to a Texas divorce attorney. Speaking to an attorney who offers both divorce litigation and collaborative law services early in the process of separating can help you choose the best divorce process for your family.
Meeting with a family lawyer can be the most important decision you make in the divorce process. They can guide you as you make many important decisions concerning your children, your property and financial support. You and your spouse should both obtain legal advice on the best way to move ahead. It is critically important that you obtain legal advice very early in the process, before taking any drastic steps, as those steps could result in prejudice to your ultimate position.
Watch: Can Fathers get custody of their children?
Final Words On What to Do When Your Spouse Asks for Divorce in Texas
When your spouses ask for a divorce, try not to ignore the divorce request, address the issue and try to change their mind. Ignoring will make it more complicated.
Don’t emotionally manipulate your partner or badmouth your spouse; instead, attempt to buy their love.
And lastly, don’t spy on them, it could lead to stalking and harassment charges.
Contact Us For Advice
If you have been served with divorce documents, it should be taken seriously. Some timelines must be met. The Law Firm of Udo Ezeamama strives to provide our clients with constructive and creative solutions to get through the emotional and legal challenges of divorce. We will listen to your wants, identify your needs and work together to help you reach your goals.